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Saturday, July 25, 2020

The Blender

After being a posting queen, there has definitely been silence for months.  What a wild ride those months have been.

My beloved father died on March 18.  This is a picture of us out celebrating his 95th birthday.  This was his last year of freedom, from needing oxygen 24/7.  I'm so glad that he was all there mentally until the day he died.  His body just gave out a few months before he reached his 99th birthday.

My ex-sister-in-law passed away on April 16.  It was a total shock as she had a heart attack.  Not even my kids knew their aunt wasn't doing well.  She was always a lovely woman and her family really misses her.

My favorite cousin died on May 20.  He had a stroke just before Thanksgiving last year and even with immediate medical care and therapies, he never made any progress back to the person he was before the stroke.

Also in May, I ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with diverticulitis.  The pain was right up there (9), and ever since then it has been a struggle to eat enough so I stop losing weight.  This week I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy to see the extent of the diverticulitis and why I can't really eat.  Well, I now need surgery to remove part of my colon because the diverticulitis is severe and the doctors are concerned about ulceration and bleeding.  I don't want to end up with a colostomy, so I hope the doctor can actually put the two ends together to make me "whole" again.  I'm concerned because the surgery will probably take place when I'm here alone.  But I know God has it all figured out and the plans I need to make will be revealed in time.

That's the reason for the silence on my end.  I have been feeling a bit like a pinball, slamming from one life-changing event to another, just focusing on getting through each day (sometimes hour) whole.

Next month we'll have a small memorial service with all my girls - they can finally travel (they are all "essential"), so I am looking forward to not being alone and getting to see them and my grandchildren.  The isolation demanded by COVID has definitely made dealing with death and illness so very different.


Needled Mom said...

Wow. You have really had your hands full. I hope surgery goes well for you and you have a super fast recovery.

The Joyful Quilter said...

Oh, goodness!! You really have been through the wringer, haven't you?! Loss following loss (following loss) and then to get so sick? My heart goes out to you. Hoping your surgery goes well and that help is provided, as needed during your recovery.

Denise :) said...

It's been a tough six months for everyone, but you've really had a lot on your plate ... I'm so very sorry! I hope you're able to get some relief from the diverticulitis. That's absolutely no fun. Praying for a successful surgery, a complete and speedy recovery, and good times with your girls and grands! :)

Brenda @ Songbird Designs said...

I'm so sorry for your losses, Susan. COVID has definitely put a damper on many activities. My estranged sister passed in May and they really didn't have a funeral since she had nothing to do with family, due to her life choices, so I understand what a trying time dealing with death during this pandemic can be. Praying that you have a very successful surgery and recuperation and that you will have someone there to help you when you need it. Unfortunately, it is a bad time since no one can be with you in the hospital - at least not here. Enjoy your time with your daughters and grandchildren. And take really good care of yourself.

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

Please let us know when you have surgery so prayers can be sent your way! I am sorry for your losses. God is faithful and is with you always!!

Barb Neiwert said...

Life really isn't fair sometimes. I am sorry you've had to endure so much. I do see such joy in that photo with your father - you have the same smile, and I suspect, the same joy for life. Sending healing prayers for you and safe health for your family so you may enjoy the get-together with your girls. (((HUGS)))!

Home Sewn By Us said...

Hi Susan! {{{{{Hugs}}}}} a bunch for you. Goodness, you deserve a whole bunch more. I knew that you lost your dad, and how hard that was. Gosh, I wish I was there to lend a hand or an ear or to bring over a dish. Take care of yourself. Diverticulitis is nothing to mess around with - but your colon is pretty long. They should be able to remove a hunk without much issue. I'll certainly keep you in my prayers. How nice that your girls will be able to visit and the grandchildren, too. That should help with all of the isolation. Please stay safe. ~smile~ Roseanne

Susan said...

I'm sorry about the other losses that I didn't know about. That is a lot of death to handle alone. I'm glad your girls get to come see you. When is the surgery? I hope all goes well, and stitching together works.

My brother just had a section removed because of cancer. He's 85, and he's decided that's all he's doing. He has the colostomy, but he's not going to have it reversed, even if they've beaten the cancer, not doing the chemo. He said he's lived a long time and it'll be alright either way. I understand how he feels, but I don't know if his children will.

Best wishes on your surgery. You remain on my personal prayer list all the time. I hope you can soon go home and get your own life back.

Helen said...

So much all at once. When it rains it pours... sometimes true. I hope there is much joy waiting for you in the next few months.

Karrin Hurd said...

So sorry for all your losses. Will keep you in my prayer and hope your surgery goes well and you can feel better.

Susie said...

Hi Susan, I am so sorry for all the people who have passed but especially your Dad, although it was a blessing that he was still mentally fine to the end.

I am sorry about your surgery issues and do hope that the Doctors can sort it out at one go and you will be on the road to recovery.

I am sure it will be wonderful to see your Girls and the Grands even though it will be for your Dad's Memorial.

Stay safe, hugs & love, Susie xx

Chopin - A Passionate Quilter said...

I feel for you, we just got off 7 months of hell! It seemed like it would never stop! But we are through the worse and on the mend.
Hubby accidentally shot himself in his left hand on NY Eve. Required 2 surgeries at Trauma at BAMC in SA. They did a great job on his hand and then they were concerned about a heart Murmur that Clay had - that was the beginning of his life being saved. Then an EMS run to ER for some light heart notification. That got us great heart doctors and on 1 June a Transcather Aorta Valve Replacement (delayed by you know what). He is doing great.

Last Fall we had Cataract surgery - Of course I had problems - the eyelids were stretched - finally had that done on 10 July - but not without issues. Now things are settling down. But I had an ER Run on 2 July - low potassium.

My cousin had the same surgery - things got better for her, but last July she passed away with Heart Issues. I have never had time to grieve for her. I miss her so. Along with my son and my step son who passed in 2017 and 2015, respectively .

Just know that God is with you and that you will be better when all is done and the thing we have learned is that “Everything happens for a reason” we just do not know that they are mostly blessings.

Before any procedures, I recite the 23rd Psalm which usually calms me down! Will be thinking of you ! Take care and be a good patient!

Deonn said...

Oh, Susan, my heart goes out to you! All of these events are right up there on the top of the scale. God must trust you A LOT. That's how I view trials. I'll add you to my prayers, that your surgery will go well. Thank heaven that you can finally be with your family. Those are definitely moments to cherish.

R's Rue said...


Andree G. Faubert said...

Hi Susan, I'm so sorry to hear about all of those trials, as well as dealing with these difficult times also. I really hope that your health will get better. Those doctors can do wonderful things. All the best to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Andree G. Faubert said...

Hi Susan, I am so sorry to hear about your ordeals. I really hope that the surgery will go well and that you will be totally fit after this! Take care of yourself.